Today is the 2nd anniversary of the night I discovered that the reason my husband had been neglecting me emotionally and sexually for 9 years was because he had.….secrets. Lies, gaslighting, deception, all of it. My accidental “discovery” was shocking, devastating and life altering. Everything they write about suffering from Betrayal Trauma is true. The affect on your body - emotionally, mentally and physically is all-consuming. Betrayal from the person you trust the most is a game-changer. STRESS in all caps. Marriage-threatening. For quite awhile, every day was a dumpster fire on steroids. And the hole you’re in is so deep and dark that you have no idea how you will crawl out, if ever.
Two months after D Day, it was clear I needed help. Laura was recommended to me and she was a life saver. Over the weeks and months, she listened to me describe my pain patiently and with compassion. She helped me to understand what was really going on in my marriage, reframed the dynamics, provided useful vocabulary, got me to stop beating myself up for something over which I had no control, and critically - gave me tools for helping myself. She doesn’t make judgments but it’s clear her focus is on YOUR recovery. She’s the hand-holder, interpreter, navigator, and coach. I will not lie - it’s a lot of hard work, emotionally. You get out of it what you put into it.
Indirectly, my husband also learned a thing or two or twelve about himself. He had soul-searching work to do, too. Your recovery doesn’t succeed if he doesn’t accept responsibility for the things he did, their cost to you (and him), and then make difficult adjustments himself. But Laura didn’t deal with him directly; his journey was separate. Miraculously, we now find ourselves in a happier - yes happier - place than we ever thought possible. We are BOTH so grateful to Laura for helping me to calm the firestorm in my brain, reclaim my narrative and ultimately enabling me to decide with confidence to slowly restore my faith in my husband and our marriage. To this day, we continue to utilize the techniques and skills she extolled for interaction / communication within a relationship. Laura is our superhero!
Laura helped me find my voice in my marriage as well as helped me see more clearly. All of this aided me in getting me to where I am today. I have so much to look forward to in my future!
C - MA.